white beads room

Plain (I'm Telling You)

2011-03-02T01:05:00.000-08:00

Plain
but warm-hearted to the core
I'm telling you
my palms will grow trees
eventually

Smiling
in a self-mocking way
I'm telling you
Hope is raising off
the earth
like heat off
sun-baked
pavement

Up and up and
up

Peering
up from the tree house
you still might squint your eyes in disbelief
But I'm telling you
Life is s gift
strong as a ship
of steel
and has just knocked me off my
feet.
How lovely
this defeat.

A Head-dress of Feathers

2011-02-19T14:33:00.000-08:00

I want a
head-dress of feathers
like hers

Time passes in the river
I'm restless
I quiver
My fingers are long
and longer
touch the foreign soil
grow under

Maybe you forgot
but I never did

I wear a head-dress
of feathers
and battle the wind
with eye-lashes
I dance on smooth stones
I carry large weight

Something is burning
pounding
in the rhythm of the heart
this land is too wide
for just sitting still

I wear a headress of feathers
I walk in the dark
I go on one foot
I march like a crowd
I read from a map
I read from the stars
our footprints are crossing
a numerous times
I wear a head-dress
of feathers
just like she does

Maybe you forgot
but we never did
this land is too wide
for just sitting still

Wind, give me
Strength.
Amen.

Invited

2011-01-24T14:05:00.000-08:00

I try so hard not to let you enter
my deepest dreams
but what are my dreams worth
if I can't tell you
over a morning cup of coffee
over a night spent lying next your
beautiful body
over a faint kiss in the park
what are my dreams worth
when you can't remind me
in all that chaos of my heart...

I'm starting to dream you again
You're somewhere out there
in winter
in the garden
under the balcony
in my backyard
Tonight I won't let you go
back into the orange circle of the sun
Tonight I'm undone
and you're in-
vited.

Keeper of the Flame

2010-03-03T15:24:00.000-08:00

I'm trying to be as transparent
as possible
want to kiss you
but I'll be a good girl
shut my urges to my drawer
along with my mug
yesterday half-full
today half-empty
don't cross your arms
against me
I'm silent
cause you want me to
I'm laughing
cause I'm wanting to
Your life's unfolding
mine's a flying carpet
I roll under my arm
If I'm a burning bush
then you're the kindling
burning under.

I wrap myself in my Mexican blanket
and keep on walking
through the dust
right into the sun
(Bless you
and bless us,
all.)

I haven't posted for a long time and I as well might do...

2008-08-14T09:04:00.000-07:00

Shy out of the window

The light I project on your face
Shows your seasonal scars
plenty
You drive your car
Like suicide
Shy out of the window
Shame air-conditioned

You scream yourself out of
Here and now
Out of the river of crime
Meandering through our times

You’re too smart to keep still
Distrustful to peaceful pills
Will I ever hold on to anything
Darling, you’re my last safety pin.

The calligraphy in your eye reads
I’m not afraid to die
And I am plenty
I hang on to your sleeve
Like suicide
Shy out of the window
Shame air-conditioned

I scream myself out of
Here and now
Out of the river of crime
Meandering through our times

I murdered my innocent girl
Here and now
You said
There’s a river of crime
Meandering through our times
The blood is yours
and mine.

Where I Left My Soul

2008-06-22T17:26:00.000-07:00

On the bank of Rhine
lies a piece of mine.
Close to Railway bridge
I found out the pitch
where me and sun meet

with beatles
on my feet.

Tell me

2008-06-12T05:28:00.000-07:00

I feel special and wild
Serve me as a dessert
At our table
Tell me flattering things like
You’re a channel for beauty
Tell me
Beauty resides within a skeleton
And trickles down my ribs
Tell me
Daddy longlegs won’t bite...

For the Lovers

2008-06-09T09:27:00.000-07:00

For deserving this place
open your days
with light in the hand
Seek the stream
of pureness
Follow through
through the orchard
of broken hearts
the water’s there red
but true and kind

In that place
where lovers lie
the lies will die

Maybe you’ve read
lovers make beds
with lips painted red
souls soaked in blue

But this is true
red roses gathered at tombstones
put on the heart
make the heart blossom

Lovers stroll at burial grounds
behind iron gates
kissing their wounds
tangling their fates.

Let them be bleeding.
Let them be blessed.

Bone Left Alone

2008-05-29T06:22:00.000-07:00

You awake me
in my darkest light
I change my fluid
to crimson dark
taken by carriage
down the welsh
cliffs

Lone as a fish
bone.

Recipe

2008-05-27T10:29:00.000-07:00

He’s a big boy
He’s a small man
What will he become?
Not angry, not angry,
Please.

Meet the woman
On the highway to your heart
Let her be uncanny
Let her be smart.

See her as her
Not as them.
See her as you.
Big girl,
Woman little.

If

2008-05-27T10:15:00.001-07:00

We come from waters deep
Fragrances heavy-sweet
Confuse our wishes with fears
Want to shout honesty
Turn to bed with guilt.

If we could be diamond-eyed
Pure of heart
Less disguised
Our love would matter.

His Heart, Red on White

2008-05-27T10:14:00.001-07:00

Sending shivers down my spine
With his obscene
Innocence.
His honesty shames me
To the bone.

Whatever he feels
Hurtful and crying
I would jump off the cliff
To save his soul and
Bring it back
Among the sheep.

Let’s put up a flag
In this country
Where hearts meet to
Rest in
wool.

Out of all templates
I’ve chosen your silhouette
Let me walk in your
Heavy shoes and
Sing praise of
Tenderness.

I’m clinging to your
Little finger.

Behind Wire Rims

2008-05-27T10:11:00.000-07:00

Behind his wire rims
His mind is
Crystallized
Sending off electric
Blue light.

Whatever he’s thinking
I don’t want to be a part
That’s what she meant by
Walking the land of
Liquid ice.

Undercurrents of his doubts
And models of thirteen-
Dimensional worlds
Leave me dumb.

Whatever he’s up to I
Hope will simplify
Whatever he wants I
Dream won't collide
With embers of
The soul.

Children-torn

2008-05-16T09:16:00.000-07:00

Hearts are so hard to
give.
Always easier to boys who wear
pink.

A heart as marsh-mallow
I turn to an edge you
crack your head
on.

Don't steal my tides
I'm so strung-high
on the beach with-
out melting
sand.

Don't wear my smiles
I loose my
guns.

You want to drive a motorbike with
your mother,
love.

When my father jumps into the grave
my foot
a tug.

We're
children-torn.

Let's get cheesy about love again...

2008-05-01T14:34:00.000-07:00

II.

We see through the light
the specks of dust
when sun is rising
everything’s older than us
our love ancient
don’t let me mention
ending to
anything.

III.

Handful of music
from wet grass
and air
You smile
as I translate
the wind’s whispers
Just made love to the sea
smoothed bed sheet
Touch me with eyes
in my heart’s embrace.

Love....

2008-04-29T06:42:00.000-07:00

I'm not in love... but I cannot stop thinking about being in love and loving and pieces like this come out...

There in the distance
waiting for the miraculous
the see tells
hush hush
gives me a deep sleep
I see the sunrise
we
see it and
know we were,
always,
and future is
a cosy room
we're walking
barefoot.

random feelings in the dark of the night

2008-01-20T07:45:00.000-08:00

I think I have the right to
esteem myself
to crime in
and steal away
do all the nasty things

I'm different.
To get to myself is a long-distance hurdle run.
What is there underneath?
Budding pride at being me?
Shame at being a fingersmith?

This is how I felt 2 days ago...

2007-12-13T06:45:00.000-08:00

Anyway...

A Sucker for Love

Notice the beauty in small things
I’m a sucker for love
Read this fun magazine article
I’m a sucker for love
This book, it gets you brain cells going
I’m a sucker for love
Why don’t you have a swim?
I’m a sucker for love
Meet a dear dear friend
I’m a sucker for love
Buy a cheap cheap van
I’m a sucker for love
Don’t analyse, don’t analyse
I’m a sucker for love
Sometimes I’m nothing
more than
a sucker for love
Today I’m a
sucker for love.

Winter

2007-12-05T06:57:00.000-08:00

One must have a mind of winter
to bear the leafless trees
to have the urge to squeeze their branches
as an old friend's hand.

One must have a mind of winter
to look the raven firmly in the eye
to print a palm in snow
to draw a circle round the sun.

Slaloming through trees like fool unnoticed
playing with a flake
I woke up in the heart of winter
frozen in a lake.

This is a poem inspired by the first line of "The Snow Man" by Wallace Stevens.